


Aren't you sweating up a storm?

by Idjit_01



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cook Benny Lafitte, Dean Winchester Misses Castiel, Dean Winchester Needs a Hug, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, POV Benny Lafitte, POV Dean Winchester, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Worried Benny Lafitte, Worried Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:06:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24710530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idjit_01/pseuds/Idjit_01
Summary: Benny had learned early into their relationship that there were days where Dean just wouldn't able to get out of bed. Days where he wouldn't respond to anything and would just curl up under the sheets and let the hours pass away. Sometimes it lasted a week, sometimes it just lasted a day.Set up in a universe where Sam and Eileen have kids and are a happy family and Benny and Dean have settled together.First chapter from Benny's POV, second one from Dean's POV. First one's mainly angst, second one is mainly fluff.
Relationships: Benny Lafitte/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	1. Are you aware?

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Sara Kays' song "No matter the season."
> 
> I'm kinda nervous about posting this. My first Denny work and I think my Benny is kinda OOC, but I hope it's not too bad. 
> 
> As always, feedback is appreciated.

Benny had learned early into their relationship that there were days where Dean just wouldn't able to get out of bed. Days where he wouldn't respond to anything and would just curl up under the sheets and let the hours pass away. Sometimes it lasted a week, sometimes it just lasted a day.

He knew on those days not to pester him, to give him space to breathe. But he also knew that if he offered small displays of affection, like leaving a steamy cup of hot cocoa in the nightstand or kissing him goodnight days like these became more bereable for Dean. If he did it right and didn't overwhelm Dean he knew he could maybe possibly get him to open up.

Of course days like these came more often on important dates like the day his mom died. He'd never talk about it afterwards, though. If he talked, it was while he was affected and for that Benny had to play his cards really carefully.

They had tried to work on it, on learning when an episode of Dean's was going to come to try to prevent it and how to dive through it the best way possible.

So when Dean had been in an excellent mood for about a week, Benny didn't expect for this to happen. He had woken up with a bit of a hangover to an empty space on the bed and a fidgeting unease.

"Dean?" He asked. He looked around, but no one answered. That alone wasn't enough to confirm something was wrong. Dean could be in the bathroom or gone to Sam and Eileen's for breakfast. He checked the dates in his mind and went through the last few days: no, nothing seemed to have gone wrong. Maybe he was just paranoid because Dean hadn't felt bad in a while and though that should be something to celebrate, he was scared of the long overdue relapse.

But when he stood up to make breakfast, everything seemed fine. There was a note on the coffeemaker that said  
'Babysitting at Sam's for the day. See ya tonight ;)'.  
There was no coffee in the coffeemaker, but maybe Dean just had left too fast and it wasn't like Sam didn't live in the same neighborhood, so maybe he had just gotten it there.

He checked their guns and knives just to make sure —Dean had expressed the desire to end it all up once when he was drunk and Benny had felt anxious ever since when Dean wasn't feeling his best about what he could do if he was on his own— and they were all there, so he just swallowed his doubts and discomfort the best he could and went to work.

Work was nice. Benny was a cook in a a restaurant just down the street and he loved it so much that he could forget about everything while there. Cooking he forgot about his worries and couldn't help to smile. Cooking he was good at. Cooking he lost himself in. So when he was pulled away for it, he always felt a bit grumpy, even when it was for someone to congratulate him on his work.

So when he was called up around 2:30pm, when the last late clients usually arrived, he couldn't help but frown. Just a few more meals to cook and he would be done —couldn't whoever it was to wait for him to finish —couldn't whoever it was wait to wake him up from this hazy dream? 

Reluctantly he put him best marketing smile and left the sacred place that was the kitchen. 

"Where do they want me?" He asked to the waiter. The waiter didn't have time to answer before small hands engulfed him in a hug.

"Uncle Benny!" 

"Jack!" Benny answered, lifting him in the air, his smile becoming genuine, but his frown deepening as he looked for Dean and found Sam instead. 

"Benny." Sam greeted with a smile. He looked tense, though. Was he fidgeting? Something had to be wrong. He had been tense and weird all week now that he thought back. Did Sam get depressive spells just as Dean did but he and to hide it for his family? "How are you? How is Dean?"

Benny stopped. "I'm fine." He said really slowly, looking Sam in the eyes. "As for Dean, you should know, cher. Isn't he at yours? Taking care of little Cassie?"  
He had been surprised Jack was there, but he wasn't the only Winchester child.

"No, Eileen is there. Dean was supposed to come but he never showed." Benny felt the air constrict in his chest. He shouldn't have ignored his instincts. He couldn't breathe. This couldn't be happening again. After Andrea, he couldn't be losing another partner. He couldn't go through that pain again. Had he checked everywhere in the house? What if he had overlooked a missing gun? 

"Benny?" Dean had been chipper for too long, maybe too chipper. What if he had felt so good now hitting rock bottom had been so hard he had done something stupid? "Benny!" He should have called, check everything was alright. Check in with Sam. He had done everything wrong. What if it was too late? "Hey, Benny. Please, breathe for me. Breathe with me." Had Dean tried to tell him something in the note? God, what if he could have prevented it? "Dean is alive. It's fine. Focus on me." What if- "Inhale." One, two, three, four. "Hold." One, two, three, four, fivewhat if- "Exhale. And again."

When he could breathe again, Sam wasn't blurrying into a colorful mass and Jack's shrieks were piercingly clear again, he looked over his shoulder. "I'm going out. Personal emergency."

He was faintly aware of Sam following him as he ran the few blocks to their place. It took him more than he would normally need to open the door with his trembling hands and when he did, he almost threw it out of it's hinges.

"Dean?" He called, taking big steps into the first room he could find. "Dean?" —Please be okay, please be okay, please be alive— Benny couldn't help but chant under his breath.

Suddenly, a movement in the bathroom cought his eye. "Dean!" He yelled, running into the room.

Dean was curled up in a shirt and his boxers, clothes crumpled in front of him, water covering the floor surrounding him. He got in front of him, testing his reactions. Nothing happened until he cupped his face. The moment he opened his puffy glassy eyes a broken word escaped his lips. A word Benny didn't expect. A word that represented someone he had forgotten about as he only had met him once.

"Cas?"


	2. Talk.

When Dean came to Benny had already moved then to the couch. 

Benny was sitting massaging Dean's scalp, playing with his hair, Dean's head on his lap.

There was some background noise Dean couldn't recognize, so he just turned it out. 

Dean was just too comfortable there. He didn't want Benny to know he had woken up, he didn't want to move or talk. He knew Benny wouldn't push him, but he couldn't trust himself not to talk.

He cursed when he accidently hummed and the pressure on his scalp momentarily stopped.

"Heyya, Cherie." 

Dean tried to remember if he had said anything already. Truthfully, be couldn't clearly remember anything since he saw the clock tick past midnight.

"Hmmm." He cleverly answered. He felt this cold weight in his chest, underneath all the warmth of a bear-sized Benny and a comforter someone had covered his lower half with. He was too tired. It was September already. He was too sad. He was always sad in September.

"I know you don't want to right now, but I really need you to drink something. Please, for me."

Dean nodded. He was right, he didn't want to lean up, but he had asked him to do it for him. So he did. He welcomed the feeling of hot coffee flooding his empty stomach as a distraction to his dispair.

"Thank you." Benny murmured over his ear, just before kissing beneath it. "Do you feel better?"

Dean nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it? About... Cas?" 

Dean's heart froze. Had he talked about him? He opened his mouth —since he knew already, there was no more damage to be done— but nothing came out. A pang in his chest made him close his eyes for a minute and then he shook his head almost too vigorously. It was too painful. He couldn't.

"Okay." Sam came around the couch. "I made some chicken soup, but you'll want to have it soon if you don't want it to freeze over. I'm afraid I have to leave now —Eileen tells me Cassie is being a handful and Jack's cranky when he doesn't wake up in his bed, but I'll check on you tomorrow." He caressed hesitantly Dean's check before taking a stirring but unconscious Jack in his arms from the chair he was curled up on. "Feel better, okay? And Dean... It's okay. I miss Cas too. And... He would want you to be happy. He'd be proud of ya."

Dean groaned of the sappiness, but he nodded nevertheless. He couldn't stop feeling guilty and painfully empty even with the reassurance, but it was relieved a bit with Sam's words which made him feel weak for needing reassurances in the first place. It was a vicious circle.

He heared the door close and tried to drift to sleep again.

Before he could fall asleep though, he heared Benny mutter  
"Who's Cas to you?"

He frowned lightly and sighed. Then he mumbled sleepily,  
"Someone I loved." He laughed drily. "Someone else that died. Like everyone does."

Benny kissed his forehead and tightened his grip on Dean. "It's okay. I'm not dead. I love you. I'm not Cas or your parents, but I'm here. Not going anywhere."

"Hmm." Dean mumbled, as if contradicting.

"Not leaving. Promise."


End file.
